Trepidation
by IckieZiegler
Summary: A GH version of plot from the Australian soap Home and Away. The ensemble cast of characters.
1. Prelude

**Preface:**

She blinked and everything changed. The day had started out with her finally marrying the man she loved. The clichéd best day of her life where their guests danced, laughed, drank, and all the worries of world were left to their own devices for one night. Instead after that split second when her eyes reopened everything was covered with a thick layer of smoke. Her body burned and a sudden terror set in. "Dante!" She screamed out for her new husband. "Dante!" Lulu's eyes wandered across the room taking in the sight of mangled bodies. People hunched over their love ones as person by person got dragged out of what remained of the building. "Dante!" she cried again through the never ending orchestra of coughs.

In a montage of events she watched her father-in-law find his son on the ground and lift him on to his back the best he could manage in order to slowly drag Dante out of the burning building. Inflamed rafters fell around them and on to some of their friends while narrowly missing others. She felt herself being pulled and dragged out to the lawn where the many that had escaped waited for sirens they could hear coming up the distant road.

**Sneak Peak:**  
The aftermath of the explosion is brought to the hospital, where two people definitely die, and one person might.

**Author's Note:**  
This is my experiment. This story is based off events that happened on the Australian soap Home and Away. They've done storylines I've never seen done on US soaps, but also the way their storylines are handled are incredibly smart. They don't drag things out for months on end majority of the time. The experiment is having ready made inspiration, because basically I can watch the episodes on youtube and write. I'm not completely plagiarizing the story though and just switching the character names. No one character in this story is based off one single character and events in the other story, but mainly the plot that takes place is being ripped. There is some creative effort from me going into the story. All the episodes are available on youtube. Just search "Home and Away 4212". The story starts based on 4212 and basically ends on 4231. It might contain minor spoilers for this story, but I very very very highly recommend watching.

I hope you all like the story and please remember to comment.  
Ps. Don't worry. The Chapters will be much much much much MUCH longer.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:  
Portend – to indicate in advance; to foreshadow or presage, as an omen does; a warning; prediction.**

"I'm going to give you some time with him…" She said while slowly starting to back herself out of the room.

"I'm so sorry, Patrick," Robin told her husband. "His brain was deprived of oxygen for so long due to the smoke inhalation and the monoxide poisoning."

"But he was regained consciousness!" His handed rubbed his younger brother's shoulder as the other cupped his mouth temporarily blocking the tears falling down his face.

"He wasn't conscious. His body was reacting to the monoxide poisoning by vomiting. His eyes opened, but there's no sign of brain activity. I'm so sorry. Matt's dead." She leaned in to her husband who quickly pulled away from her and bolted for the other side of the room.

"This is all my fault. He didn't even want to go!"

"This is not your fault."

"I should have gotten the damn banister off him first!" he yelled startling the nurses in the hallway.

"I'm going to give you some time with him…" She said while slowly starting to back herself out of the room making sure to clean up her face and putting her professional mask back on. She grabbed the chart hanging on the next door and walking in.

"What's wrong?" demanded the newlywed.

"Dante has a lot of internal bleeding which is severely effecting his liver. He's going to need a transplant."

"Then get him one!" exasperated her friend who was also the father of the groom.

"We'll search all the donor registries, and the first available liver will go to Dante," she asserted before leaving the room without giving anyone a chance to get a word in. Her thoughts gnawed away at her gut. With every step she took towards the center nurses station she took a deep breath. She gathered the necessary paper work and headed for the box containing her grieving husband. "Patrick, we have to talk."

"He's not even cold yet, Robin! You can't expect me to…" His throat was raw and his cheeks completely soaked though.

"We have to. We have to do this and we have to do this now. I'm so sorry, but this is necessary." She lovely stroked his arm until he gave her the go-ahead by nodding. "As Matt's next of kin you have to decide if he would want to donate his organs…"

"How do I decide something like that?"

"It's actually pretty simple." She cleared her throat while trying desperately not to look at this incredulous expression. "Matt was a doctor. His life was about saving lives, that's what our lives are about, why we're doctors, and donating his organs would his absolute last opportunity to save a life."

"You're right." Even though he said the words he still shook his head. He bushed his burning eyes shut and looked as if he tasted something sour. "Do you have the papers?"

"Yeah." As she handed them out to him when he reached his arms out something light pink and white attached to his arms. "Are those burns? Why didn't you say anything?"

"They're fine, Robin. They're just minor burns."

"You must be in pain. Why don't…"

"Just leave it, Robin," he yelled. "Just leave."

"Listen," Jason said between gritted teeth. "They're taking me to the other room to treat this burn, but I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

"I can assure you we'll be just fine. I'm just going to wait here for my Mom," The little girl was chipper in order to hide her worries which were insurmountable for her age.

"Yeah, I'm just going to call Sam again and see if she's heard anything about Kristina. If they've made it to Mercy Hospital yet."

"Alright, but Michael…don't let Molly out of your sight. With all the people hanging around…."

"I got it." The new adult wasn't actually paying attention while he dialed the number into his phone. He didn't the notice the larger man leave.

A nearly inaudible interruption came across the intercoms that coincided with a systematic and incessant beep. A warning. From her peripheral vision Molly could see people taking a slow jog to full on run down the corridor yelling out orders. Her feet pulled her after them slowly at first. She looked up to see the destination of the rushing medical staff and burst out into a full sprint. "Mom! Mom!" she screamed. "Mom, no!" The doctors ignored her presence until the last round of drugs had been given without response. "What are you doing? Save her!" The nurse administering pumping her hands to her mother's chest slowly flexed her fingers and backed away. "Help her!"

Something passed through Molly that started at the top of her chest went clear through to her back. Her legs carried her over to the gurney and she began to climb until she was straddling her mother. She positioned her fists the way she had witness the nurse earlier and began trying to pump the heart herself. "Mom! Mom! You have to wake up!" She yelled in panic while pumping furiously. "Mom! No! Please help me!"

Two arms locked themselves around the small girls waste and slowly began to pull her off the bed. "No! No!" Screaming each one slowly. Her legs started to flail around as she kept kicking before she completely hit the floor. "My mom! That's my mom," she sobbed. "Michael, that's my mom. We have to save my mom."

"So far all the labs look good and it seems like the liver is taking, but we're going to be monitoring your progress during recovery." The doctor tired to smile. It was the first bit of good news she was allowed to give all day, but the sinking feeling of the day was still wearing down on her.

"Thank you, Robin. Is there any way I can talk to Patrick? I really want to thank him for all he's done for me today. It cost him."

"I appreciate that, Dante, but I don't think he's really up for it."

"I completely understand. Thank you for everything."

"Hey," his wife interrupted them walking into the room with a massive cup of coffee.

"Don't let him have any of that," Robin quipped on her way out.

"You're looking good." Lulu smiled at him and sat in the chair next to the bed. "This day has been hell." Earlier in the day she was getting married, there was an explosion at her wedding reception, and the rest of the day was spent wondering if her new husband would die. The aches of her body, exhaustion, and relief were catching up playing across her face.

"Says the woman wearing a wedding press and an overcoat."

"It's cold," she rebutted in a meek pouty tone. "Plus…today has been…a lot." She turned his wedding band on his finger.

"Yeah, but it was our wedding." He exaggerated the 'our.' "Why we would expect any less…."

"Right. Well…"

"Look at you! You're practically falling over. You should go home."

"I wasn't really planning to go home alone tonight."

"Hey, I'm more than willing to get out of this bed and take you there myself!"

"Don't you dare! I'm your wife now. I have the right to kick your ass for being stupid."

"Alright, then to keep you from kicking my ass and further jeopardizing my life…on our wedding day…go home. Get some sleep and then you can come fulfill your wifely duties by nagging me tomorrow."

"Now that you've given me permission," she teased. "Alright, I'll go home, but you are soo… making it up to me." She leaned in for a quick kiss.

"If that's not an incentive I don't know what is." Another drawn out kiss and she was out the door. His face turned to anguish. It had taken everything he had to not show the signs of pain, but the soreness of his body had been tormenting him.

"You didn't have to stay with me?" Johnny scoffed as he watched Maxie paste around the room.

"No. I was just going to leave my friend trapped under a firey chuck of wood. You couldn't even move!"

"I do appreciate it. Thank you for putting the fire out….even though it was incredibly stupid. You shouldn't have been in there. Especially with your heart…"

"Oh shut up!" she yelled before sticking the oxygen mask back on her face.

"Why did you stay with me anyway?"

"I told you. You're my friend."

"Oh, is that it?"

"Yes! Of course!" She wouldn't look at him and instead turned her attention to the outside of the door. She watched people walk back and forth in the overcrowded hall. "Spinelli!" she screeched out in surprise. "Spinelli! What are you doing here?"

"I had some burns they wanted to look at on my thighs." His tone was void as she simply pointed out the bandage poking out of his shorts.

"Does it hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I have to go!" He attempted to storm off, but he hadn't taken a wide enough birth when turning the corning. He bumped directly in a bride. "Lulu, I'm sorry."

"Lulu? You're calling me Lulu? Am I in trouble?"

"No. You're not in trouble or I'm not mad at you."

"Where's the quips, the vocabulary, the…Jackal?"

"I don't really have the energy." He sounded glum and he looked like a puppy that had been kicked one too many times. Lulu hooked her arm through his.

"Tell me about it while you're walking me out. What's wrong?"

"It's more of nothing being right for a really long time now. The stunt I pulled with Caroline, losing Maxie, and… I think maybe I don't belong in Port Charles."

"What! Why?"

"I believe I may have past my use by date."

"Nope. I don't accept that. You're just going to have to come home with me. I wasn't really looking forward to my first night as a married woman completely alone anyway."

"What are you doing here? You guys just left," Robin told him holding the phone receiver away from her mouth. She was talking at what could have arguably been the three most exhausted faces in the whole hospital. "Is it the burns?" The three of them nodded.

"Lulu's having some mild chest pain, but her burn goes from the back of her shoulder to her chest," her mother-in-law spoke up for her.

"Did you even get that burn treated earlier?" The doctor questioned but all Lulu could do was shake her head in response. She had a fear that if she were to open her mouth she'd start screaming. "And you Olivia?"

"I got treated earlier. I just had a small burn on my angle. It's really nothing to worry about."

"Alright. We're short on room right now, so why don't you guys go wait in Dante's room. Last time I checked he was arguing was in a heated debate with an orderly about baseball." Just then the other end of the line came to life. "Dr. Potts! Hi, I'm Dr. Robin Scorpio from General Hospital in Port Charles. There was an incident here that left a number of people with some minor burns." Pause. "I understand and of course I wouldn't expect you to take time out of your busy schedule to come here." Pause. "If I were to arrange transportation would you be able to see them in New York at your clinic? Thank you so much! I'll get that all arranged." The giddiness made her nearly miss hanging up the phone. Her fingers were already dialing. "Jax? It's Robin. You still fly, right?"

"How's Molly?" The bedridden man asked unable to adjust himself up a little further. It was difficult to maintain conversations why completely strode on his back.

"She's destroyed. Even worse is that she's here on her own. Kristina and Sam don't even…" His brother was interrupted by a knock on the door. "…know yet."

"Come in." Dante's face lit up upon laying eyes on his wife, but at a moment's notice went to completely worry. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"We're fine. My burn just hurts a little. What are you doing still awake? You promised me you'd be good," she talked only to him as if everyone else in the room had suddenly dissipated.

"My best man here was just telling me about how everyone else has been doing," he informed her causing her to turn around and notice her brother-in-law/cousin.

"Hey Michael. I didn't see you there slouching down in the corner," she teased. He rose to his feet and enveloped her into a deep hug causing her to flinch. As they pulled away she saw the fear in eyes the same way she had many times before. "It's not you. It's my shoulder. This burn hurts like hell. I promise…you're great." She watched him drift his gaze to his feet. "I'm serious," she continued ignoring the sound of the door opening next to them. "You did nothing wrong."

"What's going on?" Carly was quick to interrupt them. Jason had followed right behind her after finally escaping his treatment for the burn that covered his lower back. His distaste for hospitals had never subsided. "Robin told us to come in here. Is something going on?"

The door swung open yet again revealing an overly exuberant doctor. She held it open her for glumly faced husband and Jax. "I have some great news for all of you," she spoke up loudly concentrating on beating Dante to the bunch. It was obvious he was itching at the seams to speak to the man who gave his permission to save his life. That happened to be the same man who hadn't talked to anyone since. "Dr. Potts is a burn specialist in New York. He runs the Burn Unit and Support Clinic in the City. He's agreed to see 5 people right away, but he can't come here. Which is just as well he has all the necessary and better equipment at his clinic than we have here. So Jax, has graciously offered to fly over there. Based on the criteria Dr. Potts laid out the people I think should go are Olivia, Lulu, Spinelli, Jason, and Patrick. All of your burns were basically right off the page and if they don't get treated properly could leave minor permanent damage."

"Well, I don't think I should go, so maybe you can give that spot to someone else?" It had taken a moment, but Lulu was the first to speak up.

"What do you mean you don't want to go?" Dante questioned from behind her.

"Well…my husband just got out of major surgery. Dante…you had an organ transplant. And all these people got hurt at our wedding reception. I just…"

"You're going!" She gave him a look of 'oh really!' he had seen before. "I mean, you're hurt Lulu. You're shoulder is obviously bad enough. You hardly made it home for an hour before you turned around because it hurt so bad. And I'm fine. I've made it out of surgery and I'm completely awake. I'll probably be asleep the entire time, and it won't take days will it…?" He trailed off addressing the doctor.

"No. It should only take a few hours for everyone to get there, get treated, and get back."

"See. I'll be asleep the entire time and you'll be back by the time I wake up."

"Okay. But Spinelli and Olivia have to come to." Leaving the two people who brought her to the hospital no room to argue.

"I'll go," Patrick said the first words anyone had heard from him in hours. He wasn't particularly excited about staying in the place where he had just let his brother die and the idea of being miles away for any point in time nearly satisfied him.

"No," Jason stated to the point.

"Oh, you are so going!"

"Carly…" His voice either warned or was too warned out to argue. He couldn't tell the difference himself. On his mental to do list he still had to tell Sam that her mother was dead. Then he'd have to sit back and watch helplessly has Sam singlehanded tried to pull everything together herself. Taking care of her sisters, putting together a funeral, and refusing any help from him. He felt like he had already done it all when it hadn't even started yet.

"Look, I'll look after Molly. Sam is still trying to get Kristina taken care of at Mercy. You'll probably be back before anyone can really get a hold of her anyway. And at least that way you're one less thing she has to worry about. You can be taken care of and you can help her with this hell storm that is about to take over her life. And…"

"Okay," he brought her speech to an abrupt stop if not for anything because he knew she never would unless he agreed.

"Great. Well, we should get you guys on your way."

The nurses were pulling off the bandages as if they were moving in slow motion. The teenage girl under their painful grasps had just spent most of the day laying on a gurney in the emergency room of a strange place waiting to be scene. Now that she was finally being taken care of she could have sworn she was being tortured. Her older sister sitting on the edge of the bed to her right tried to sooth her by rubbing her free arm, but she could feel her skin being ripped away the bandages.

In her mind she tried to be strong and breathe her way through it, but with each breath a sob escaped her. A tear would roll down her cheek and fall on to the exposed damage which hurt even more. She looked from face to face as they all confused on her left shoulder and chest. "I know it hurts, Kristina, but you're doing great."

"Hear that, Krissy? You're being really brave and it's almost over."

"What's wrong? Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"No one is looking at you like anything. Everything will be okay."

"He is. Why is he looking at me like that? What's wrong? Is it terrible?" She had pointed out the male nurse in the corner who looked like he was about to be sick to his stomach mixed with general horror. "I want to see it!" She demanded passionately.

"Krissy…"

"I want to see, Sam!" The nurse reluctantly handed her a mirror. "Oh my god. Oh my god," she repeated. From the reflection she saw something out of her health book that couldn't possibly be her skin. Splotches of red, white, and pink where her skin should be that were nearly indented into her body. "Oh my god!" she cried.

"You have some full thickness burns. That means that it's gone through all the layers of skin, and they won't heal themselves. I know it looks intense right now, but with the technology we have available you'll be able to get skin grafts and plastic surgery," the nurse tried to explain. If her intention had been to sound sympathetic she was failing on every level.

"Skin grafts?" She was fully aware of what they were, but never once in her life considered that she would need them. Her eyes were still focused on the mirror still overwhelmed by the sight of her flesh.

"The red areas are just superficial burns and those will heal nicely."

"Oh my god, Sam…"

"Shhh… Krissy," her older sister tried to comfort her helplessly.

"So can you please explain to me in your own words the best you can what happened?" The Officer asked almost so quickly Robin didn't hear the question. "We just need to take a statement," he clarified.

"Well…It was Dante and Lulu Falconeri's wedding reception. They were bringing out the cake which had sparklers on it." She could visualize it in her head. All the smiles, laughter, how beautiful everyone looked in their formal get up.

"Why were their sparklers on the cake?"

"The bride's brother, Ethan Lovett, had done it. He said something about Australia, and tradition, and missing out on most of her life. Wanting to share that with her and do something special. Anyway, apparently there was a gas leak. We had all been inhaling carbon monoxide all evening, and the second the gas got too close to there was this explosion right in front of us. Everyone just feel to the floor, because the air had caught on fire. Or it seemed that way. There were people laying everywhere. Rafters had started to fall from the sealing and one of them actually landed on my brother-in-law. They just kept falling. Eventually Jason Morgan, Lucky Spencer, Ethan Lovett, Sonny Corinthos, Nikolas Cassadine, and Jasper Jax had pulled most of everyone out on to the lawn behind the building. Johnny Zacchara was pulling people out, but then he also gut stuck under a falling rafter that had actually caught fire."

"And where was this exactly?"

"Jake's Bar. Should you already know that?"

"Just wanted to verify. We heard there was an accident down at the docks tonight."

"Do you think they're somehow connected?"

"There seems not reason to drawl that conclusion. Now, in your opinion do you believe that that the gas leak was intentional?"

"I'm not sure. It seemed like everyone was having a great time, and the only people who were there were friends and family of Dante and Lulu's."

"You didn't see anyone suspicious?"

"No."

"Mr. Lovett, the one who put the sparkers on the cake therefore igniting the explosion, do you think he could have had malicious intent?"

"No. He loves his sister."

"Alright, thank you for your time Dr. Scorpio. If you could please just sign her at the bottom we're all done here." She smiled at the officer and quickly sprawled her sloppy signature over the necessary line. Just then the phone began to ring for the millionth time since she had unceremoniously returned to work that afternoon.

"General Hospital, Dr. Scorpio speaking," she answered. "Yes, Dr. Robin Scorpio." The words pouring out the phone could have been in a foreign language. Her mind wasn't ready or willing to process what she was being told. "I don't understand. They should have been there a couple hours ago. It's only a 20 minute flight." She paused to listen again. "If the flight had taken any longer than that they wouldn't have left on a helicopter." Another moment. "Yes! I'm sure! Are you saying they haven't gotten there at all? They haven't called or anything?" She hung up the phone waiting to exhale the breath that caught itself in middle of her throat.

"What's going on?" The Chief of the hospital asked without noticing his friend's contorted face.

"The helicopter never made it."

**Author's Note:**  
Based on episodes 4212, 4213, 4214, and 4215 of Home and Away.  
So this chapter was probably the longest thing I've ever written...ever. 3,822 words. I wrote it in two separate settings. So, I hope it's all coherent and interesting. I think I've found ways to check up on my writing for the next chapter. This one was definitely a learning experience for me.  
I would expect this story to be updated like once a week. Which is perfectly fine because it will probably take you about a week to finish every chapter to begin with.  
I really hope you like it and please don't forget to comment. Reviews would be your part in my experiment.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"These are the reflections of the first days; but when the lapse of time proves the reality of evil, then the actual bitterness of grief commences." 'Frankenstein' by Mary Shelley

or

Solicitude – the state of being anxiety or concern, causes for care, an attitude expressing excessive attentiveness; worry, care, unease, disquietude, apprehension.

The teleprompter scrolled as the sounds were heard. Laughter, "What was that," and then screams that became muffled as the audio feed cut out. "That was the last radio transmission for a helicopter taking burn patients from Port Charles to New York City two days ago. The authorities are continuing to search… But after the crash with no food and water for days now the likelihood of finding any survivors are dwindling," spoke the talking head.

Dante threw the remote at the face speaking of his wife and mother. Everywhere he looked he saw reminders of how empty his apartment was when she was supposed to be with him. There were pictures around the loft with her face, the gifts that were saved from their reception and purchased after in condolence of the disaster, and his mother's cooking clogging up their fridge. What was left over her burnt and torn wedding dress was still hanging on the bathroom door, and the shards of his tux were left in the bag of personal belongings from the hospital. A knot pulled at this throat.

"Mr. Spencer, what can I do for you?" the nurse asked politely.

"I'm here to see the newest member of my family. Which is Dante Falconeri's room?" He was astute.

"Mr. Falconeri has managed to take off against medical advice after having a major organ transplant. Here I was thinking you helped him escape."

"I don't know why you'd think that, Epiphany," his attempt at being aloof didn't suit him and in response she scoffed. "Seriously, things are hard enough on my daughter right now without her husband going and dying on her when she ain't even here."

"Well, if you happen to see your new son-in-law can you drag him back here. He's putting himself at risk for infection…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it." He tried to blow her off and was startled by a tap on the shoulder.

"Hello, sir. I'm…" And Luke didn't hear his name through the sounds of his blood boiling. "from Channel 8 news. I understand you're the father of one of the victims. Care to make a statement about the loss of your daughter?"

"I haven't lost my daughter!" he yelled and his hands grabbed for the camera. He took the video recorder from the man and threw it across the room where it splattered on the wall. It left behind a sizeable indention and mark where pieces scattered to lay across before it.

"Mr. Spencer!" He could hear the nurse yell.

"Why don't you stop being so useless and help!" he raved.

"I am trying to help. Their story needs to be told. They deserve that."

"No! They deserve to be found! They're out there. So how about instead of wasting space in the hospital you go join the volunteer search party rather than looking for a stupid story!"

Every time a new person entered the room there was less air. She was beginning to believe that they thought being surrounded by a bunch of people would make her forget that her body was deformed and her mother wasn't there to help her through it. First it started with her sisters just being there, then her brothers, and Nikolas showed up with Spencer and Emma, and Carly came in to check on her. There wasn't even enough space for everyone to sit so they crowded around her bed. It was like suffocating.

Each pair of eyes would drill into Kristina's skin and their mouths would open like they wanted to speak. Apologize weren't going to heal her scars or bring her mother back. So the kids played on the floor and the door opened and closed. The only consistent noise was the sound of Molly sobbing into Sam's arms.

The door opened again. She let out a deep breath when she saw it was her doctor and not another person coming and never going. "I hope they treated you well at Mercy?" Robin asked. "I'm glad they transferred you promptly. Your first skin graft will be later this evening." The way she spoke was all business. She didn't even acknowledge her child who was looking up at her from her place on the floor with open arms.

"Have you heard any news about the crash?" Her friend who had taken charge of watching her daughter spoke up. Nikolas reached down and pulled his son into his lap while images of sister crossed his mind.

"There is no news to get. They crashed. They've had no food and water, and with the heat outside if the crash didn't kill them the dehydration did." She didn't look up from the medical chart as she spoke so she missed the astonished faces gawking at her. "Kristina, a nurse will be in here to prep you in a few hours. Let us know if you need anything." She swiftly turned around and bolted out the door completely unaware of a person following her until she was completely pulled back by her shoulder.

"What the hell were you thinking!" screeched the person who was arguably the last person Robin needed to see. "Sam, Molly, Kristina just lost their mother! Kristina has wounds that will never be healed and no matter how beautiful we thinks she is she'll never look or feel the same. Nikolas just lost his only remotely sane relative, and now he's worried that he'll never see his sister again. Why on Earth would you say something so awful to them?"

"Because it's true, Carly. There's no point in lying."

"I understand that everything that has been going on since the wedding reception must have been very hard on you, and now you're mourning for your husband. That doesn't excuse anything. If you're going to just give up on Patrick then you don't deserve him or Emma. She certainly deserves better from her mother when her father isn't even here. You really just stood there and said in front of your child that her father is dead."

"This is so useless," said one man.

"I've forgotten why we're even here," remarked another.

"Maybe it's not the search that's useless," Sonny said. He was the one man who showed up to the search site wearing an all black suit. Like every other person who had showed up he was covered in sweat and dirt. "Maybe it's the people doing it."

"Agreed, my friend," Luke climbed the scaling hill next to him. "I've called in a few favors though."

"All you favors," his youngest son corrected him. Ethan had been trailing behind father the best he could.

"Right. There are a couple of dozen guys on their way, and these dumb bastards can hightail it home."

"I've got every one of my men here. They'll search tirelessly without complaint. We'll find them."

"Do you really think that?" asked Ethan.

"Are you already giving up on your sister, Dodge?"

"Of course, I don't want to give up on Lulu. They say that if you don't find someone after the first 24 hours that it gets less and less likely…"

"They say a lot of things. Didn't they once say there was Pluto was a planet…and now it's a star or a moon…or something other than a planet."

"The world was flat," Sonny contributed.

"How does this apply to Lulu?"

"The fact is that anyone can be wrong, and those idiots on TV are wrong to. We'll find your sister. She can survive anything."

"Already has," his friend chimed in again.

"Exactly. So we'll find her and we'll bring her home. Plus, her wedding reception was ruined by an explosion so it's almost as if the universe owes her one."

Carly waltzed in the room carefully closing the door behind her. "I got your text. What's wrong? Are you worried about the skin graft?" She hadn't meant to hit a nerve, but Kristina still flinched.

"No, we're worried about Sam," answered the youngest sister. "We don't think she's coping."

"Where's Sam now?"

"We told her you were coming back to visit so she went to go get you a coffee."

Carly's eyes widened. "She went to get me a coffee? Are you sure? Maybe she was getting herself a coffee?"

"No. It's for you. She's been doing it since the transfer," Kristina told her. "She's been running around trying not to be here for too long. Getting Molly a blanket, getting us food, taking Emma to get her diaper changed, walking Nikolas out, and constantly getting us water. She hardly sits down."

"And she won't talk about Mom," Molly piped up. Her voice began to trail off when she continued, "or Jason."

The older woman took a sharp inhale. "Sam… There's a lot going on for her right now. For all of you, and now that you're mom isn't here, its Sam's job to take care of you. It's not like your father's are going to become more active participants in your lives… Sam's what you have. She knows that, and that is a lot for a person to take on by themselves on top of mourning your mother and worrying about Jason."

"What if Jason doesn't come back? Will she always be his way?" A question from one young sister was followed by the other.

"Jason is coming back! He'll come back and Sam won't be on her own. Neither will you guys. There is a ton of family who loves you and will always be there for you. That includes me, so if you ever need anything at all call me. Until then, you're just going to have to let Sam… do what she's doing."

Robin didn't say anything as she did her best not to just drop her daughter in her bed. Luckily playing around the hospital had worn her out or else it could be reliving a traumatic time for them both. She wasn't actively trying to not care about her daughter or anything else. Her body just caved into a natural numbness that she embraced with open arms.

There were moments when everything would subside and she'd remember and feel against her will. The look on her husband's face the last time he saw her, the way he was numb, and she could read his guilt and hatred across his face. He had pulled the plug on his own brother, who he believed he failed long before that. The worst part was she had been there for him the entire time when he'd let her. She stood next to him as he took the life support off his brother and watched with him as Matt took his last breath. Forever in his mind and his heart that memory would burn on his soul and he'd always associate it with her.

When they went to say goodbye before the helicopter took off he wouldn't say much, but she insisted that she walk him up to the roof anyway. Other people got hugs and kisses. She had watched Lulu get the most loving farewell from her husband, but Patrick couldn't manage more than a single glace before stepping out of her line of sight for what could be forever. She doubted he cared if he saw her again, and if he was alive somewhere else he was probably happier without her face as a reminder.

She stomped her way through their empty house and made her way to the kitchen. The dishes from their breakfast the day of the wedding were still sitting in the sink. Possibly the last thing her husband touched. She almost let herself believe it could possibly be the last thing in her life her husband would ever touch again.

She pulled a glass from the cupboard and a bottle from the top of the fringe. She listened herself pour a caramel colored and unforgiving liquid into the bottom of the cup. It only took a beat before the glass hit her lips and she forced a large and hard swallow.

Sam walked as if her body was being weighted to the ground. Her legs buried farther and deeper into sand with every step she could. Throughout the day her tunnel vision kept her going from one place to the next and her fervor to get where she needed to go kept her from running on empty. The ending of the day, the hospital's visiting hours, brought the ghosts back to her, and her stolen supply of energy was spent.

It very well could have been attributed to that place if she let herself think about it hard enough. This hospital was where her baby was born and had died at the same time. Her brother, the only person she cared about for most of her life, got sick and died in this place. Both of which she blamed on her mother, the stranger that managed to benefit from all the disaster in her life. She couldn't count the amount of times she had been a patient herself. Alexis had been there for her the last few times, and now the hospital had taken her too. As it stood the hospital was the last place Jason had been seen. He and the other people going to get their burns treated were herded off to the roof and then they all disappeared. Jason and some of her friend potentially gone forever like the hospital had opened up its mouth and swallowed them whole.

Her eyelids were heavy and falling even as she walked. If it were possible she would have given anything to have them decide one way or another. Keep them open to shield away all her nightmares or stay closed and let her fall into a deep coma until it was all over. Something made her feel that things didn't work that way, and she would have to force her them open herself just to make it to the elevator.

A montage of people separated her and her escape rout. It could have been all in her head, but she could have sworn it was like everyone was hugging. Her friend completely attached to her adopted father who narrowly escaped death. That friend's boss sitting in the lap of a man who was so wrong for her that they made a perfect couple, and then her friend or ex huddled with his son's in the most comforting compassionate embrace she didn't even know he was capable of.

The relief and love stabbed at her hollow gut. Her legs that were once weighed down by invisible blocks made a sprint for the nearest door. Her back fell against it once the door slammed shut and she started grabbing at her chest. Sob by sob few out of her throat and her lungs searched for air.

Bodies shuffled in. They clogged the door, barricaded the top of the stairs, and in spite of the fact that there were chairs available there was no room for anybody to sit down. It was unconventional to say the least when usually a press conference would be called and aired at nauseum, but with so many loved one's in peril the families owed a face to face. The small yet well known diner was the center of town and the perfect place to unleash the news.

"What the hell did you call us all here for, Lucky?" screamed a nameless man in the crowd of many.

"We're wasting time. We could be out there looking," yelled another.

"Actually, the reason I wanted all the volunteers and all the families here is…" he cleared his throat. "Search and Rescue has banned volunteers from any on-going searches. The areas left to search are deemed to dangerous and for them to have to worry about your safety could compromise them doing their job. The fact that you're willing to sacrifice your time and put all your effort into looking for our loved ones is very much appreciated, but right now you can only hinder any progress they can make." The mob of people let out various cries of disapproval. "I understand. I want all of you out there looking for my sister, but... not if it… There's another thing…" He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. Against his will tears escaped him under the multitude of eyes facing him. "They no longer expect to find any…survivors. They're not calling this a… um… body recovery… mission."

**Author's Note:**

This chapter was based loosely off of episodes 4216, 4217, 4218, and 4219 of Home and Away. They can be found on YouTube, and they should be watched...because it's awesome.

I absolutely love reading everything you guys are saying about the story...and not just because it's positive. Your comments are the most important part of my experiment, and I'm thinking this may not be my last experiment. I hope you guys continue to like the story, and please keep leaving feedback.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"**The time at length arrives when grief is rather an indulgence than a necessity; and the smile that plays upon the lips, although it may be deemed a sacrilege, is not banished.****"**_** 'Frankenstein' by Mary Shelley**_

**or**

**Pretentious – characterized by assumption of dignity or importance, making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious, pompous, bombastic, grandiose.**

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Elizabeth said half to her friend and half to the woman standing in the door way.

"I swear it won't take long," the woman responded before directing her attention towards her target. "Dr. Scorpio-Drake? I'm from the Port Gazette. I only have a few questions and then I can be out of her hair." Against her better judgment and that of her friend's Robin nodded for the stranger to enter her house. She pulled out a tape recorder and diminished her perky smile. "I understand that you organized the helicopter to take the victims to the city."

"I arranged for the patients to get further treatment," Robin corrected and felt the warning in her gut deepen. From the corner of her eye she could see Elizabeth pacing and shaking her head.

"So, you don't feel responsible for the presumed dead?"

"Excuse me!" Elizabeth demanded as she stopped in place. "I really think you should leave."

"Do you think you'll feel more responsible if they find your husband's body?" the woman asked while ignoring Elizabeth. Robin sat there with her jaw gaping, eyes a second away from watering, and a tremble that shot up her spine. "Do you have any remorse for the lives you put in danger? Would you like to say anything to their families? To the community?"

"It's all my fault," Robin whimpered under her breath. Her eyes were glassed and she sucked in the sobs she strived to burry deep within herself. "This is all my fault." She stood to her feet and jetted out the door. She could hear Elizabeth call behind her.

"Body recovery…! my ass!" He slammed his scotch on the counter. Usually it gave him the warm feeling he'd get with hot chocolate as a kid, but now it just tasted like gas that burned too much… or not enough.

"Dad!" His eldest son shot his father a nasty look while helping his own oldest son put on his jacket. "I know you don't want to be the conventional grandfather, but could you at least try…"

"Daddy…" Cameron tugged at his father's shirt. "Where's Aunty?" He had been asking since the wedding that he had the better fortune to miss. He and his brothers had been entertained at their Cousin Spencer's house, but were told that they give Aunty and their new Uncle the presents they made later. Homemade cards with vibrant colors scrolled across. Cameron was particularly proud that he stayed in the lines of the picture he had colored and couldn't wait to see it at his Aunty's new house on her fridge.

"Not here right now. We'll see her later." Lucky frowned as he heard Luke scoff over his shoulder. "Mommy's going to take you home. I'm going to stay here and talk to Pop Pop for a minute." On cue Elizabeth walked through the door and didn't say much. It wasn't her place to offer comfort anymore, and even if she could she had no idea what to say. Not about Lulu. She gave a polite and sensitive smile and walked her son out of the casino.

"Have you called Lulu's mom?" Ethan asked from his bar stool. Unlike his father he had taken his glass and emptied it as if it were the water. Anything to melt his mind away from thinking that if his sister not dead then she was probably dying, suffering, starving, and any other pains he'd kill to take away.

"I'm not calling Laura and neither are you," Luke spoke dryly and pointed at Lucky before he could interrupt. "I don't want Laura to endanger herself mentally or emotionally until we know something for sure. I don't want to take any risks. She's still not out of the woods…"

"That's a poor choice of words." Ethan topped off his glass.

Pictures and other sentiments had been moved and made the house look empty if not soulless. "Welcome home," Carly tried to say in her most cheerful voice as if to mask the fact that it was no longer a home and more of a cold mausoleum. "Sam," she called out as she helped Kristina navigate her jacket off her bandage covered burns. "Sam."

"Hey," she greeted with a smile as she walked out of what was her mother's bedroom. "Thank you so much for bringing them home."

"Where's all our stuff?" Kristina asked bluntly as she saw empty tables, an empty fireplace banister, and barren counter spaces.

"Sonny's here. He just stepped out to take a phone call." She spoke quickly and it didn't even look as if her sister's question registered in her mind. "Oh, Krissy…" She rushed over to the television. "I got a bunch of DVDs. I thought maybe we could have a marathon. All your favorites."

"Sam…" Her youngest sister looked at her worried without being able to think up an appropriate question. Her mind had already done a round of wanting to ask if she was okay, knowing she wasn't okay, and general panic that she might say the wrong thing.

"That sounds great, Sam. Mind if I join you?" Carly interrupted the growing tension of Sam's plastered on smile and Kristina's look of indifference. "In fact, since we're making a night of it. How about you order us some pizza, Chinese food, and whatever crap that delivers, and we'll make a great veg night out of it? Lulu and I…" She stopped herself short and took a deep breath. "You call and I'll pay."

"Sounds like a plan." With that Sam rushed herself out of the room.

"Do you need help getting your stuff to your rooms or do you just want to leave them here for now? It's not like we're in any kind of hurry…" Carly casually sat next to Molly and Kristina on the couch before she was interrupted by the unpleasant tons of an angry man.

"I don't care what they're calling it. I'll pull together men myself if I have to. I'll pay for anything you need. Just don't scale it back. There's no need to stop looking now. They're out there." Sonny had started yelling into his phone from the patio. The wind dragging his voice through the open window. "Then un-classify it. I don't care if you want to call it a Body-Recovery Mission or a Search and Rescue. I'm telling you that if you don't get your asses out there I'm going to hold you personally accountable when we do find the bodies of people who could have made it if their town hadn't given up on them so damn fast…"

Carly's face turned different shades of red before she bolted out the door. She ripped the phone out of her ex-husband's strong hand and threw it into the lake. "What the hell are you thinking!" she demanded. "They can hear you in there." Her voice was a harsh whisper. "Sam is having a hard enough time trying to pretend that the world is still turning, she's being strong for her little sisters when she's just lost her mother too, and you're out here announcing that they are looking for her boyfriend's body like he's dead. Are you crazy!" She looked indignant. "It's not just Sam either. Molly and Kristina love Jason too. Between you and Sam, he's been their family as long as they can remember."

"You seem awfully worried about Sam, Kristina, and Molly…" Sonny tried to tread lightly. It was a rare moment for Carly to passionately worry about anyone she didn't particularly like. Her history with Sam was rocky at best.

"Are you kidding? Who wouldn't be?"

"It's just you're more worried about them because of Jason. Are you sure you're not just projecting your fears that you'll never get Jason back either?"

Robin's breathing had returned to normal. Her feet had carried her to the park and she took comfort in the trees and laughter. She smiled as her eyes crossed a familiar face. "Hey, Luke." She took no notice to that the older gentleman didn't acknowledge her. "Any news from the search teams?" He hardily grunted in her direction. His face turned sour. "I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing anymore." He continued to remain silent. "It's the waiting that's unbearable…"

"How can you stand there and talk to me as if nothing's happened?" He finally yelled with an increasingly red complection. "What the hell were you thinking sending them up there?" She opened her mouth to respond, but he continued, "Let me guess… you wanted to prove to everybody that you were the super doctor we all know in love. That you had the entire situation under control even though people were dying left and right… am I right? You needed so bad to prove yourself to everything that now my daughter is dead! 5 other people, including your husband have lost their lives… but it doesn't matter because Robin the Amazing Doctor had everything handled!" He scoffed at her. "I hope you can find a way to live with yourself."

"So, how about some fresh air?" Michael turned to his sister after helping trash paper plates and putting the left over pizza in the fridge. "Just get a coffee real fast. Prepare you for the all out movie marathon my mom says you guys are going to have."

"I don't know…" Kristina hesitated.

"What do you mean? You've been stuck in the hospital all week."

"I mean, I don't know if I'm ready." She pulled attention to the bandages that covered most of her chest and her shoulder.

"Nobody is going to notice."

"You don't know that," she said calmly to his sincere reassurances.

"Yes I do. Everything will be fine and I'll be with you the whole time."

"Uh…" she hesitated. "Okay, just one second." She ran to her room and found the largest hoodie she had. The collar pulled up to cover her neck. She was completely covered from the chin down when they left her house and all the way until the reached the peer.

"You must be burning up in that thing."

"I'm okay."

"Krissy…"

"Fine," she vented in frustration. "I'll take it off." She pulled down the zipper and peeled back the sweater releasing her body to soft breeze. Her brother gave a tiny laugh knowing he was right.

"Hey, Kristina," Maxie stopped them right outside the entrance of their destination. "I'm so sorry about…"

"Thanks," she tried to blow the older girl off.

"We were just going to grab a coffee real fast before going back home…" He hinted.

"You are so brave," Maxie continued oblivious to the signs of discomfort Kristina exhibited. "If I had a burns like that I don't think I could leave my apartment let alone…" She couldn't finished before the young woman's eyes began to well up right in front of her and sent her sprinting in the direction in which she came. Her brother chasing after her.

"I never thought I'd see the day." His wife stood on the other side of the counter watching him watch his glass. He still couldn't remember his love for whiskey at this moment.

"What are you on about?" He half asked, willing himself to prepare for what was sure to be an argument.

"Luke Spencer giving up on his daughter!" She yelled.

"Tracy…"

"No! You look here!" She pointed her finger directly at his face forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You have never, and I mean absolutely never, given up on your daughter."

"That's not true. Some say I gave up on her when I wasn't here for… half her life was it?" Self-pity wasn't a good shade on him.

"When Lulu had encephalitis… Bobbie told you to tell her goodbye and what did you do? You held a council of doctors hostage." Luke didn't so much as blink at the comparison. It felt like forever ago that he was sitting next to her hospital, but only yesterday she was born.

"Lesley Lu's life has been a constant struggle," he finally said after a long pause. "All the times she's been sick, kidnapped, trapped, attacked, held hostage… my daughter has been through hell enough already."

"She's survived it all, Luke. She has the instincts to keep herself a live, and we'll find her."

"What if we don't, Tracy? What happens when Lulu doesn't come home this time?"

"You need to get your head out of your ass!" She yelled even louder. Her voice reaching an octave her husband had not previously been aware of. "Get it together, Luke. You are always the last person to give up hope and right now that is all she has. So get off your ass and go find your daughter!"

Kristina ran into her room and face planted on to her bed ignoring the pain as she tried to bury herself in her pillows. She could feel the bandage move and her skin start to feel as if he were being ripped off again. "Kristina…" Her big brother calmly planted himself on the bed next to her. After a moment she sat up trying to rid her face of her tears. "They'll all know. They don't even have to look at me."

"What do you mean?" Michael asked.

"They don't even have to see my scars to know I'm ugly."

"You're not ugly. You're hurt, but they'll heal. And they don't make you look ugly."

"Hurt might as well be a euphemism for ugly, and when my skin heals the scars aren't going anywhere. I'm going to have them forever and for the rest of my life… everyone is going to know. I'm scared. I'm…"

"Just stop it." He held himself back so as not to raise his voice even though he wanted to shake it all out of her. "I'm telling you the truth. You're not ugly. People might know you have scars but that doesn't mean you'll never be attractive to anyone. You're beautiful." He was doing his absolute best to reassure his sister. "And if you're ever with a guy who cares more about your physical appearance than the amazing person I know you are... I'll personally kick his ass." Kristina gave a soft giggle. "I'll even get Dante to help if he's a real douche…"

She shook her head with a slight smile in the lighter mood. "I'm just being selfish…"

"How do you figure that?"

"Sam is trying so hard. She's always smiling, doing everything she can to make sure Molly and I are comfortable, doing everything mom would do… It's like she's been replaced with a robot who doesn't know that Jason is missing. It's like she doesn't breathe anymore because she wants to save the air for me and Molly." She fiddled with the end of her shirt. "All I can think about are my stupid scars."

"The scars are new. You'll get used to them, and soon it will be like they're not there and all. And Sam… she's probably doing it for herself too. This is probably just the way she needs to cope. It's not selfish. You're not selfish." He whipped his palms on his pants and stood up. "I have to go, but I'll text you tomorrow."

His sister gave him a brief smile as he left the room. She waited until she heard the screen door of the house slam shut behind him. Her feet carried her over to the large mirror in her bedroom. She pulled off the sweater in spite of the pain caused by her skin pulling across her shoulders. Slowly she lifted the bandage closer to her neck to reveal lumps of skin. They were little white bubbles that looked pink in the places where it was attached to her undamaged skin. Her body let out an unwilling sob followed by a series of tears.

She barged into her own house, and slammed cupboards and drawers. The glass sounded like a crash when she haphazardly slammed it on the counter and poured herself a stiff drink. "Robin!" her friend exasperated in a harsh whisper. "You're going to wake up Emma."

"I did this, Elizabeth," she shook her head and cursed herself as she slid the warm liquid down into her mouth. She reveled in the burn as it sunk down her throat and into her waiting body. "I made this happen and I deserve everything I have coming to me."

"Would you listen to yourself?" Elizabeth pulled the drink away and set it gently down next to them. "Robin… you had no way of knowing that the helicopter would go down. You were trying to help your friends and what happened was an accident."

"No. Luke was right. I was too busy being the super doctor to actually pay attention and now people are dead because of me! I killed them!"

"Luke? What does Luke…?"

"I went for a walk… and ended up in the park. Luke was there and he's absolutely right. His daughter… my husband… they're dead. They're dead because I couldn't mind my own business." She refilled her glass.

"They could all still be out there. They're still looking."

"For bodies! It's a body recovery mission!" Robin interrupted.

"They could all be alive and they can be found. So how about instead of sulking you focus on what you can take care of until Patrick comes home. Like, Emma. She's confused and has hardly seen you… And when she does see you, you've been drunk or passed out."

"You know what, Elizabeth. I think what I could use a little less judgment and a little bit more support."

"I am being supportive…" She started to call out to her friend who had quickly stormed away. She was interrupted by the door slamming behind her. She took a deep breath as she looked at the countertop only to notice that Robin had taken the crystal bottle of liquor with her.

Her eyes popped open when a hand was placed on her back and slightly rubbed the comforted spot. She looked up and took the half empty bottle that was being handed to her. She took a quick gulp and the thin plastic crinkled. Her lungs expanded with a deep breath and she passed the bottle next to her with her unwrapped arm arm.. "Here, Spinelli," she whispered still able to grab his attention.

"Thanks, Fair Lulu." He took a swig and passed the bottle back to his large and quiet friend. Jason took his own small drink, and handed the bottle over to Patrick who passed it to Olivia after his turn. Jax waved his hand when it was offered, and she tucked it away into the small bag deflated back next to them. The silence was interrupted only by a cough due to the smoke still coming from the fallen plane near them.

"Nobody's coming, are they?"


End file.
